Thrive Girls Ranch and Home offers life transformation to girls who struggle with life-controlling and self-destructive behaviors or attitudes like rebellion. We provide therapeutic counseling to each individual girl, plus daily learning experiences and activities that nurture a true change of heart–and help her thrive in life. We enroll girls (ages 12-17 years) year-round, but we have a limited number of placements. Please call (512) 545-2226 now. We want to help!
Teenage Rebellion? What’s Normal?
During the teenage years, the area of the brain called the prefrontal cortex is developing. This is the part of your brain that is behind your forehead. It’s your thinking cap and judgment center… which means kids can now develop their own ideals and ideas.
But how do parents distinguish between normal and abnormal rebellion in an adolescent? 1
Teenage rebellion is an act of highest assertion of independence and little adherence to parental advice during the teen years of a child’s life. It is called a “rebellion” because it leads to an intense confrontation between the teen and his or her parents. Teenage rebellion may seem spontaneous and illogical for parents, but there are several underlying reasons behind the behavior. 2
Two common types of rebellion are against socially fitting in (rebellion of non-conformity) and against adult authority (rebellion of non-compliance). In both types, rebellion attracts adult attention by offending it.
The young person proudly asserts individuality from what parents like or independence from what parents want, and in each case succeeds in provoking their disapproval. This is why rebellion, which is simply behavior that deliberately opposes the ruling norms or powers that be, has been given a good name by adolescents and a bad one by adults.
Parents usually dislike adolescent rebellion not only because it creates more resistance to their job of providing structure, guidance, and supervision, but because rebellion can lead to serious kinds of harm: 3
It can cause young people to rebel against their own self-interests, rejecting childhood interests, activities, and relationships that often support self-esteem.
It can cause them to engage in self-defeating and self-destructive behavior, like refusing to do school work or even physically hurting themselves.
It can cause them to experiment with high-risk excitement, like accepting dares that as a children they would have refused.
It can cause them to reject safe rules and restraints, like letting impulse overrule judgment to dangerous effect.
And it can cause them to injure valued relationships, pushing against those they care about and pushing them away.
So adolescent rebellion is not simply a matter of parental aggravation; it is also a matter of concern.
Although the young person thinks rebellion is an act of independence, it actually never is. It is really an act of dependency . Rebellion causes the young person to depend their self-definition and personal conduct on doing the opposite of what other people want.
That’s why the antidote for rebellion is the true independence offered by creating and accepting a challenge — the young person deciding to do something hard with themselves for themselves in order to grow themselves. The teenager who finds a lot of challenges to engage with, and who has parents that support those challenges, doesn’t need a lot of rebellion to transform or redefine him or herself in adolescence. 3
How To Know If Your Teen’s Rebellion Is Out Of Hand?
Here are some signs that the rebellion has overshot its limits:
Prolonged display of annoyance and aggression towards parents or other family members.
Change in attitude. Less interaction with family members.
Always giving short and rude answers.
Open defiance even when outdoors or deliberately doing things asked not to be done.
Having no qualms about indulging in risky behavior activities like tobacco usage and alcohol consumption. 4
Normal Teen Behaviors
During normal adolescence, you might observe any of the following about your child’s behavior:
Is moody and secretive
Spends much of her time alone in her room
Gets frustrated easily and stomps out of the room
Is short-tempered and impatient, especially with parents
Doesn’t want to spend time with the family
Is late for curfew
Says things like, “Only my friends understand me! I hate it here, I wish I could leave.”
Is discontented and restless
As unpleasant as it is at times, this is all part of their way teens and pre-teens individuate from their parents—it’s part of the transition from childhood to adulthood. 4
Out-of-Control Teen Behaviors
But some behaviors are not normal. Rather, they’re warning signs. The following behaviors fit into this category:
- Stealing
- Being physically abusive to others or destructive in the house
- Being verbally abusive, intimidating or threatening
- Abusing a younger sibling
- Coming home drunk or high
- Staying out all night
- Getting arrested
Make no mistake—there’s something wrong with these behaviors. Parents who tell themselves “it’s just phase” or “it’s what teenagers do” are setting themselves up for a rude awakening later on.
If any of this is going on in your house, remember that the earlier you intervene with your child, the better. The sooner you tell your child that what she’s doing is not acceptable and give her the tools she needs to behave differently, the better. 4
Thrive Girls Ranch & Home Wants to Help Your Rebellious Girl
We are an affordable, year-round Christian boarding school for girls ages 12-17 who are misbehaving and struggling with self-destructive or dangerous behaviors. We help girls transform into responsible, respectful and gracious young women. The therapeutic residential program in Central Texas features Teen Challenge Biblical advisors and mentors, a focus on academics, and a milieu of therapeutic activities, including equine therapy.
In addition to an accredited high school education, we provide physical exercise and adventure outings filled with life training and mentoring. Girls also benefit from vocational training, and it’s all designed to help girls transition into a life where they thrive!
Give us a call to learn more about Thrive Girls Ranch & Home near Austin, TX. (512) 545-2226
Sources:
- https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/teenagers-why-do-they-rebel#1
- https://www.momjunction.com/articles/teen-rebellion_00389300/
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/200912/rebel-cause-rebellion-in-adolescence
- https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/is-it-an-adolescent-phase-or-out-of-control-behavior/
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Thrive Girl’s Ranch & Home can help your teenage girls who is displaying risky behaviors through our specialized boarding school set in a safe and structured environment. We have a limited number of placements available, so call us today!
